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Ghost Canyon

'Troll 2' [Blu-ray]
(Michael Stephenson, George Hardy, Margo Prey, Connie Young, Robert Ormsby, et al / 2-Disc Blu Ray / PG-13 / (1990) 2010 / MGM)

Overview: Joshua Waits has been warned by his grandfather’s ghost that his family is about to embark on a dangerous vacation to the town of Nilbog. Although he tries to stop them, Joshua fails to make his parents see that there is something suspicious about the town. The residents are extremely friendly, but are constantly trying to feed the Waits with strange, green delicacies!

Blu-Ray Verdict: Can we start off with the most ridiculous, basic flaw? The movie is called 'Troll 2.' And, if you couldn't guess already, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the first movie of the same name! Indeed, this one's all about Goblins! Were they just trying to ride the coat tails of the first movie? According to IMDB, Troll made a mere $5.4M, so that seems like a dubious choice. And you have to love, 2/3 through the movie, when the main character finally makes the realization everyone else did after 2 minutes ... "Nilbog is Goblin backwards! This is their kingdom!!!"

In fact, all of their sudden realizations are great, like the character Arnold - "Wait...they're eating her! And they're going to eat me! OH my GOOOOOD!!" Classic, in some ways, I guess!

I didn't think it was possible for a movie to be so hilariously bad, but this one is. The acting is beyond horrific. I have a hard time decided who the worst actor is, but I lean towards the mother. And if the acting wasn't bad enough, the script writing is worse! Like when Grandpa Seth accidentally appears in the wrong mirror in the house, Joshua scolds him for his mistake, to which he replies, "I'm sorry, I haven't learned the layout of this house."

How does that sequence get added? And what's with the popcorn scene in the trailer? THAT is how you know something is truly horrible - the actor is laughing as he tries to sputter, "too...much....popcorn!" It reminds me of Jimmy Fallon all over again, except with a movie where you can always do another take!

The lack of any sort of special effects only adds to the experience - such as in the scene where Grandpa Seth freezes everyone but Joshua - but you can still see them moving and their drinks sloshing. Or when a throws a spear at a guy, it has to cut away to a scene of the spear flying high in the air (they were only 10 yards apart), only to cut back to him getting hit, in an entirely different setting from where he was before. And the Goblin outfits themselves ... epic!

Also, I'm fairly certain the director added a subtext of the daughter's boyfriend struggling with homosexuality. There is an inexplicable bond between him and his buddies, Holly makes reference to it not being hard to turn him homo, there's the quick cutaway in the trailer of the guys laying together in a bed, among others. I tell ya - this director is genius!

I would give anything to spend 10 minutes talking to the masterminds behind this movie. It boggles my mind that a rational mind could actually create this masterpiece - but it was done. And so, with all that said ... do yourself a favor and go (run) BUY or rent this movie - and watch it several times. You will NOT regret it!! [MD] This is a Widescreen Presentation (1.85:1) enhanced for 16x9 TVs and comes with the Special Features of:

Feature Film in HD
Lossless Audio
Smart Menu Technology
Original Theatrical Trailer
Feature Film in Standard Definition
Original Theatrical Trailer